Voicemail in Heaven

voicemailVoice mail is a necessary part of modern life. Have you ever wondered “What if God decided to install voice mail?”

Imagine praying and hearing this:

Thank you for calling my Father’s House. Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for Suicide Counseling
Press 5 for all Other Inquires

What if God used the familiar excuse — “I’m sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received, so please stay on the line.”
Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call out to God in prayer?
If you would like to speak to
Gabriel, Press 1
Michael, Press 2
For a directory of other Angels, Press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while holding, Press 4
To find out if a loved one is in heaven, Press 5,
Enter his Social Security number, then press the pound key. (If you get a negative response, try area code 666.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah’s Ark is, you will be required to wait until you arrive.
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today, please pray again Monday after 9:30 am. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, try your pastor.